Being in a relationship for a year or more is both an accomplishment and responsibility. Over time, certain things in the relationship become routine and sexual desire wanes. According to a sex and relationship expert, love turns from “passionate” into “compassionate” love the longer you are with your partner. This means the sexual arousal transitions to a deeper, emotional attachment with your loved one over time. This is normal and is not bad after all. However, this may be alarming if things go routinary, and there’s no sense in adventure and surprise anymore in your relationship. This problem is common among couples with a long-term relationship, but there are few ways to revamp the sexual spark that may begin to fade over time.
How to keep the fire burning?
- Experiment with foreplay
Foreplays make the sex more enticing and sets the mood. It allows both couples to be in the sexual zone before the main event. Lovers can explore a type of foreplay that can both bound to climax. One example of popular foreplay is when one acts as a “provider” and the other as a “receiver”. The “provider” has a big role to do everything to make the “receiver” feel great without having to use their normal sexual routine. The “provider” should deal with consolidating a wide range of sensations. This is best played with different toys that will pleasure zones of your partner. Some also take advantage of a blindfold mask, ala Fifty Shades of Grey to make sure the receiver has heightened senses during the foreplay.
- Get creative
Date nights have been a powerful ally of most couples. This scheduled (or surprised!) event can bring back the sense of excitement when you guys are dating on the first few months of your relationship. Think of different ways to make your partner happy and spoil her with surprises once in a while. Keep your creative juice flowing by scheduling few date nights from your busy life. Ideas can go from simple to more extravagant depending on your budget, availability, and imagination. Start with pampering your loved one with backrub massages, dining out in a newly-opened restaurant, camping in your backyard, or doing out-of-town trips whenever possible. Really, it doesn’t have to be expensive. Just be creative and have the time of your lives.
- Play it out
Spicing up the romance may mean enacting your partner’s favourite character, or re-create the latest sexual movie you just watched. Role-playing is best planned out so you have time to get all the accessories, and you can prepare to wear something appropriate to the character as well. Pro tip: if you will be using different accessories, check videos on how to use them, or try re-watching it from the movie you saw so you won’t have to fumble when using it and will make you more confident in bed.
- Be inventive in bed
Spicing up the romance also means introducing new objects like food or sex toys in your sexual escapades. There’s no shame in getting different things for sex and making it as inventive as you can be. Different options are available like beginner-friendly vibrators and clit stimulators, clone-your-penis kit for an interactive session together, and so much more. If you get comfortable with your favourite toys, you can start making different sex positions to explore more places for intense pleasure. Whenever you try something new, the feeling of excitement levels up and promotes releases of love and feel-good hormones.
Couples in a long-term relationship usually received admirations from their friends and loved ones knowing how challenging it is to keep the fire burning. Maintaining the sexual spark is a long inventive process. You just have to accept the stage you both are in and start making progress from there. There’s a glimmer of hope, you just have to act on it!