Ultimate List of Lesbian Sex Tips: 6 Tips for Your First Time

It seems like few things are as shrouded in mystery as lesbian sex. In our culture, so much of the information and imagery that we encounter regarding sex is focused around male desire, which can make it hard for most people to know exactly what goes down when there's not a man involved. Even the majority of "lesbian porn" is created and produced to be consumed, not by lesbian women, but by straight men. Check out out our Magic Men online shop page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.

All of this leads to a lot of confusion and misinformation, which can make it daunting for women who are ready to take the plunge. When it comes to porn, "lesbian sex" is everywhere, but it's never actually for lesbians. For some reason, it's nearly impossible to find "content" where women are having sex with women only for women. Check out out our Vibrator shop page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.

I've gathered up tips from cis and trans queer women of different ages, races, and sexual styles. Of course, you don't have to be a lesbian to have "lesbian sex." You just need two women. Whether you're a baby dyke or seasoned sapphic, you can learn something here you won't see on Pornhub. Some of the following images are NSFW.

Lesbian oral sex is, by far, one of the mind-blowing sexual intercourses between two women. So we're a little surprised when some lesbians ask us how we do it. We thought it comes with the package once a lesbian is born. Every month, straight girls are bombarded with tips regarding how best to please their male partner sexually. But what about girls that want to please girls. 

Don't Be Basic, But Know Your Basics

  1. Forget what you see in porn. You're not having performative sex intended for a man to watch on his screen. React to what you and your specific partner enjoy and don't try to make it look like Blue Is The Warmest Color (no one screws in perfect symmetry)! 
  2. Don't worry about shaving too much. It's nice to keep things trimmed and cleaned, but your real-life lover isn't looking for a pornstar's pussy. The most important parts are naturally hairless anyway!
  3. Realize that lesbian bodies come in many forms (including pre-surgery trans women.) Ask your partner how their genitals like to be touched and how you can validate their gender identity in the bedroom.
  4. Lesbians do more than go down on each other. Your tongue is not the only tool you can put in the box. You've got fingers, dildos, vibrators, and in case of emergency, fruit.
  5. Cut your nails!

Lesbian oral sex tip #1: Foreplay

Lesbian oral sex isn't foreplay as some people think it is. It's entire intercourse altogether that can make your partner reach orgasm again and again. So when going down on your woman, do a little foreplay. Nothing helps a successful lesbian oral sex than an already wet, swollen, raging vagina. For foreplay, you can do kissing, or mashing of breasts or even fingering lightly just to let her feel you'll be going there soon. Also see MagicMen adult shop page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.

While every woman is different, the best way to learn how to please a woman is to start with yourself. Masturbation is a great way to learn more about female anatomy and to try out new things without worrying about whether or not you're doing it right. Take the time to get to know your own erogenous zones from your nipples to your clitoris to your g-spot. Experiment with different techniques and find out what gets your blood

pumping. If it feels good to you, the chances are that it will feel good to someone else as well.

A woman's vulva and vagina are magnificently nuanced, with a wide variety of structures and nerve endings. All of which can deliver an incredible amount of pleasure when stimulated appropriately. Even women who are no stranger to self-pleasuring can learn things they never knew about their lady parts through a little research and exploration. Don't be afraid to pull the shades, put your phone on silent and take the time to learn what makes you tick.

Lesbian oral sex tip #2: Lick everything

When doing lesbian oral sex, you don't just focus on the clitoris. Your tongue should be exploring everything, from the inner thighs to the labia to the vulva.

We know the clitoris is where she will get her orgasm, but to make it mind-blowingly good, you have to lick the other parts as well before you get to the good stuff.

If you remember those lollipops with gum inside them, that's your strategy with the gum as the orgasm. Everything has to be consumed because all these are part of the experience.Also see Adult vibrator shop page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.

Use your whole mouth when giving oral, not just your tongue.

Pay attention to her inner thighs. Lick, bite and blow. The erogenous zone is an often ignored yet extremely sensitive area. Delay. Don't be afraid to give her a peck down there and breathe on it until she's practically begging for your tongue. When she begs, you can also penetrate her with your tongue. Insert your fingers into her while giving head to stimulate both her clit and vagina. There's a reason The Rabbit gets both areas at once! Some people are good with just a fingertip, and others want your whole fist. Ask what feels pleasurable and always work your way up. Once you're inside of a girl, curl your fingers, so they're shaped like a hook. Pull towards you and straighten them again and repeat. This will stimulate her g-spot.This might seem like a minor detail, but trust us — it's not.

If you can watch porn featuring two ladies with long, manicured fingernails without cringing, you've clearly never had lesbian sex before. Everyone's preferences are different, but in general, when you're getting it on with another woman, digital penetration plays a pretty important role. The tissues of a woman's vulva and vagina are delicate, and they need to be treated with care. If you want to ensure that the sounds coming from your partner are moans of pleasure and not of pain, skip the acrylics and reach for the nail clippers instead.

Lesbian oral sex tip #3: Tell her how beautiful she is

There are a lot of women who are still conservative when it comes to sex. Lesbian oral sex is the last thing these sex-shy women would do.

As a woman, you know how awkward it can be with your legs stretched wide open and your partner seeing your hoo-hoo in all its glory (when you, yourself, haven't even seen it.)

Some are embarrassed about how vaginas can smell and taste weird. So use affirming words to assure her. Tell her how beautiful she is from that angle, how heavenly you feel being down there. Words have power, and making love isn't any different. Whether this is your first time having lesbian sex or your first time having sex, period, the decision to have sex with a woman is a big step in your sexual journey.

While there is absolutely nothing wrong with engaging in casual sex (provided that you practice safe sex and you feel good about it), sharing your first time with someone special will go a long way in ensuring that it's a positive experience for you.

Good sex is almost always the result of good communication, so finding someone that you can trust and be open with is key. Having emotional intimacy with the person, you choose to share your first time with will only make the physical intimacy you share that much better — so don't rush it with someone if it doesn't feel right. There are lots of lesbian women in the world, and you've got plenty of time to find the right one.

Just like with straight sex, lesbian sex is all about good communication — and this goes double for your first time. Also see Magic Men dildos page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.

If you're like a lot of people, most of the lesbian sex that you've seen has been in porn that is produced mainly for the entertainment of straight men and, therefore, doesn't bear much resemblance to what actually happens when two ladies take it to the bedroom.

As we discussed in a previous post about how to make a sex tape with your partner, it's important that couples not rely on porn as their point of reference for what their sexual encounters should look like. The sex that you see in porn videos is being performed by actors who are being paid to make you believe that it feels as good as it looks. The truth is that just because a particular sexual position is visually appealing, doesn't mean that it's much fun for an actual couple.

Instead of looking to outside sources for tips on how to please your lady the first time you hit the sheets, ask her what she likes. If she doesn't know or is feeling shy, start slowly and ask her what feels good as you go. Don't freak out if you try something that doesn't seem to be working. Every woman's body is different. Just adjust accordingly and keep going. Your partner will appreciate that you're taking the time to get to know her body and to pleasure her in the ways that feel best to her.

And don't forget to speak up for yourself as well. Communication is a two-way street. Just like you want your partner to enjoy herself, she wants you to feel good as well. Don't be afraid to speak up to tell her what you like or to gently redirect if what she's doing isn't working for you. Pretending to enjoy something that you aren't enjoying will only diminish the experience for both of you. Be honest and open, and you're sure to hit upon what works for you both. Express what you want and how you want it. There's no need to qualify your desires.  If she says don't stop, don't stop! Be as honest as possible about where you are in terms of your sexual and gender identity. If you're unsure, say that. Questioning is an identity in itself! Treat others the way you'd like to be treated – in and out of the bedroom. Also see Magic Men lube page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.

Lesbian oral sex tip #4: Reading her responses

Some people don't do lesbian oral sex because they think they don't know-how. But how hard is it when there is instant gratification? You will know you're doing it right by her responses. Trust us. The first sign that she likes it is when she starts pressing on your lips. This isn't to help you, and this is a natural reaction that she wants this to go on.

The second sign is if she starts getting wet, or if she already was, she gets wetter. The wetness of her vagina has more oily feel than saliva, so when it's easier to slide around, that's your clue.

Third, she starts moaning mixed with rapid breathing, and she's humping your face already. That's not even arousal anymore, but she's nearing climax. Regardless of your partner's gender, your first time having sex is likely to create some anxiety. You may be feeling concerned about pleasing your partner or be nervous about sharing your body so intimately with another person. Whatever your feelings, just know that they are perfectly normal. Everyone gets a little freaked out about their first time — that's just part of it.

Take time to figure out if your worries are red flags telling you to pump the breaks or just the normal jitters that come with doing something new. A good rule of thumb is that anything that makes you worry about your own health and safety is something that you should take another look at.

One example of a pump-the-breaks situation:

If your partner is not open to using protection or if you feel that she isn't completely honest with you about her sexual history, those concerns are very valid and should cause you to step back and rethink the situation.

One example of normal sex nerves:

However, if you're not concerned about your health or safety and if you feel that your boundaries are being respected, what you're feeling is probably just some normal nerves. Talking to your partner or with someone close to you about how you're feeling can help relieve your anxiety. You'll probably find that they feel the same way or have been through something similar. Just make sure that you are taking the time to listen to yourself and to get your head straight about your feelings before you have sex.

Scissoring is a thing. Some ladies like it, but it's more fun to run your pussy over each other during foreplay rather than play sexual twister.

Make use of pillows by using them to prop your partner up for an easier angle. If you like to be in control, sit on their face. You can change the pressure and movement via your body while receiving oral. Bit of a lesbian legend this one and doesn't work for every couple. If it does though, stand by for fireworks. There are two basic positions. In classic scissors, you both lie down, open your legs and scootch together from opposite directions (so your pussies meet) and rub your clits together. If you prefer more body contact, one of you can lie on her back, legs apart, while the other goes on top with one leg between her partners and one thigh drawn up to enable contact. She can reach under her partner's bum to bring her closer. This will either work or it won't, it depends a lot on how your bodies "fit." But worth a try, eh? TIP: Don't save the lube for penetration; scissors feel fantastic with extra slip 'n' slide. Add a vibrator between you for extra va-va-vrrrrrrom."

Lesbian oral sex tip #4: Don't confuse lesbian sex with safe sex 

Just because you're having lesbian sex doesn't mean that you and your partner don't have to take precautions to protect each other's health. It's a common misconception that lesbian sex is safe sex, but the truth is that gay women are at risk for the same STIs as their straight counterparts. Misconceptions like these are just one of the many reasons we need to make sex ed queer!

STIs can be transmitted between female sexual partners through skin-to-skin contact, mucosa contact (e.g., mouth to the vagina), vaginal fluids, menstrual blood, and sharing sex toys. So if you're engaging in any of those activities, you're going to want to make sure that you and your partner are being safe.

So what does safe lesbian sex mean, exactly?

The good news is that safe sex practices for lesbian sex are a lot like safe sex practices for straight sex. First and most importantly, you and your partner should both get screened for STIs so that you both know your status. Regardless of who you choose to get down with, regular STI screenings and pelvic exams are crucial to your reproductive health — so don't let that slide just because you're having sex with women.

Second of all, once you're ready to get down to business, you're going to want to make sure that you and your partner are using barrier methods whenever appropriate. Use dental dams or a split-open condom for oral sex, latex or nitrile gloves for digital stimulation, condoms every time you use shared sex toys.

Nothing kills the mood like taking risks with your sexual health. Make sure you and your partner enjoy your first time by taking the proper precautions.

Pick a strap-on that's your style. What is a strap-on? It's a phallus you literally strap onto yourself with an easy belt. They come in different shapes, colors, and sizes.

The first time you wear a strap-on, it can seem weird because you can't feel your own phallus, but your partner definitely will. The more you use it, the more comfortable it will become.  Clean your sex toys after every time you have sex. Please. Use condoms. STIs can be spread through sex toys.  Get different dildos for different partners. It's the right thing to do. Don't buy your sex toys off of Amazon or other unverified online retailers. They're not FDA approved and have been linked to causing cancer and infertility. Sex toys can be made with jelly-like plastic sheaths are made with phthalates — those nasty chemicals that are in some water bottles – and you don't want them to eventually seep into your system. Instead, buy from companies that sell non-toxic sex toys. Fun Factory, Lelo, Jimmy Jane, nJoy, JeJoue Vibratex, Goldfrau, Elemental Pleasures, OhMiBod, and Nob Elements are a few. If you're wearing a strap-on and penetrating doggy-style, try using a belt (preferably leather.) Loop it under her stomach/hips and hold the end with one hand and the buckle-end with the other. This will give you more thrust and control. If you're too lazy to wear the strap-on, or if it's simply uncomfortable, use the dildo on each other as if it were an extension of your hands.

Once you've gotten all that figured out, it's time to relax. Although the mechanics of lesbian sex maybe a little different, the truth is that sex is sex. It's the most natural thing in the world, so just let it happen. If you're too stuck in your own head wondering about how you look or if you're doing it right, then you won't be in the moment enjoying all the intimacy and pleasure that your partner wants to share with you.

If you've followed all the steps thus far, you've already picked a trustworthy partner, set up some good lines of communication, educated yourself on safe sex practices, and made the decision that you are ready. Now all you need to do is savour the moment.

If you're having trouble making that happen, let your partner know that you want to start slow.

Light some candles to set the mood, play some soft music, give each other a sexy massage — basically, do things that will help you take the edge off and get into the right headspace. Whatever you do, don't rely on alcohol to get you loosened up. Sharing a glass or two of wine with your partner is fine, but drinking to the point of intoxication is not an excellent idea for your first time. First of all, this is a very special milestone in your life, and you don't want to be too foggy to remember it. Secondly, you and your partner won't be able to communicate with and enjoy each other nearly as much if you're not clear-headed.

Lesbian oral sex tip #5: Grab the lube.

Lesbian sex can be more of a marathon than a sprint, so stock up! One of the best things about having sex with another woman is that, while a man usually needs some time to recharge after an orgasm, many women are able to have multiple orgasms without needing any downtime in between. This means that lesbian women have the opportunity for marathon sex sessions that can last for hours.

However, it's extremely common for a woman's body to have a little trouble keeping up with the friction of a prolonged rendezvous. To keep you and your partner feeling comfortable, make sure that you have a quality lube on hand from the get-go. Not only will you get to enjoy the sensual fun of lubing each other up, but you'll ensure that your romp between the sheets won't be interrupted by vaginal dryness or discomfort. "Put a drop of lube on your girl's pussy before you slap on the dental dam— it increases sensation."

Always have a small Ziploc bag in with your safer-sex kit. Use it to cleanly dispose of used dams, finger cots, condoms, etc. if you're not near a trash can. (Useful if you're at a sex party or even in the middle of the living room.) I might have larger-than-average hands, but I always bring my own rubber gloves to a sex party— there's nothing less sexy than trying to struggle into a too-small pair of gloves while a girl is waiting for you to finger her.

Lesbian oral sex tip #6: These are just tips

Making love is the one thing you can never teach another person, not unless you're guiding her as you're doing it.Like snowflakes, there are no identical ways to make a woman orgasm. Everyone is different.So while we can give you all the tips in the world, only by exploring your partner will you know how to do it properly.

This is also why we encourage to stick to one partner because there's so much to explore in one woman.

If it goes well, you'll have plenty of time to practice!Let's be real for a second — sex is awesome. We're (obviously) big fans, and so is just about everyone we know. However, if you ask most people about their first sexual experience, you're likely to get a lot more giggles and cringes than you are starry-eyed sighs.

The truth is that for most people, their first sexual encounter — gay, straight, or otherwise — is kind of awkward. As with trying just about anything new, there's a definite learning curve. So don't stress if your first time isn't picture perfect. It's all just part of the process. You and your partner will get the hang of it in no time.

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