If you want to make the most of your sex life, these sex tips are an excellent way to start.
Talking and listening to each other about your feelings, preferences and desires can bring you closer together and make sex more enjoyable. But even the most contented lovers can have fun trying new things. Check out out our MagicMen online adult shop page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.
Curious about the consensual, erotic power play of BDSM, but don't feel ready to invest in a full-scale dungeon just yet? We have good news: You can add BDSM moves to your partnered sex life without spending a mint on new accessories or mastering dozens of different rope ties.
Even in a post-Fifty Shades world, there's no shame in being new to BDSM. And while investing in kink gear and sex toys can be fun, this kind of play is ultimately about you, your partner or partners, and consensual power exchange, not capitalism. "BDSM doesn't require any money," kink-friendly sex therapist Michael Aaron tells Allure. "Much of it is psychological, and if you are looking for impact play, many people feel like no toy beats their hands anyway, and that's free. Likewise, various household items such as rope and clothespins can be used in scenes, and they hardly cost anything at all." (A "scene" is how people commonly refer to a period in which the kinky play goes down.) From safely restraining your partner from experimenting with roleplaying, here are eight ways you can explore BDSM with your partner tonight.Check out out our Adult vibrator shop page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.
Once you've tried all the usual sex positions, blow job techniques and tips on talking dirty, it's time to start thinking about something new and exciting to work with your man. That's exactly why I have put together this list of 5 kinky sex tips.
Quick Warning: While this tutorial video is quite distressing, it will teach you how to make your lover scream with pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having someone completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out the detailed (& explicit!) oral sex tutorial video here.
You shouldn't feel compelled to try every single one of these sex tips. Some may seem a little too kinky for you. That's perfectly fine. Hopefully, though they will at least give you an idea of what you may be interested in trying in the future. Springing these kinky sex tips on your man when you first meet him may freak him out a little bit.
It's a much better idea first to try the regular sex techniques that you'll find throughout the Bad Girls Bible, then slowly graduate to the kinkier stuff, making sure that he's comfortable with everything first.
Agree on a period of time – say one week, or whatever works for you – when you won't have orgasms or penetrative sex. At first, allow only kissing and holding each other. Gradually move on to touching and stroking each other, masturbation, oral sex, or whatever feels right for you. Avoid orgasm. At the end of the agreed waiting period, allow yourselves the pleasure of orgasm through any kind of sex you like. This week may help heighten your senses to all the other wonderful feelings you can share when you're making love. Check out out our dildo shop page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.
When we talk about dominance and submission in BDSM, we're talking about consensual power exchange: That means that even if a submissive partner is tied up and allowing the dominant partner to dictate what happens in a scene, the terms have been discussed and agreed upon by all partners beforehand. The sub can even be thought of like the one in control since it's the dominant partner's responsibility always to respect their limits. Before trying anything new, talk it over with your partner to make sure you're both into whatever's about to go down. You may be interested in choosing a safe word that stops play if needed. Learning your turn-ons and boundaries (and your partner's) is all part of the fun of BDSM, and discussing your encounter before it happens can be its own anticipation-building form of foreplay.
Massage can help you have very sensual sex. As part of foreplay, it's a great way to start things off slowly and relax into the feel of each other's skin as your arousal intensifies.
But a simple massage that doesn't lead to sex can also work wonders for your sex life. A non-sexual massage will familiarise (or refamiliarise) you with your partner's body, reduce stress, and reaffirm the intimacy between you. If you don't want a massage to lead to sex, discuss this with your partner so you can avoid any misunderstanding.
Candles are useful for more than just creating mood lighting. They can also be used for temperature play or using hot and cold to provoke arousal during sexual play. (This technique can feature in both vanilla and BDSM encounters.)
In the case of candles, you can have a partner drizzle hot wax on your body, but don't just use candles you picked up from the grocery store: The wax from those can be a little too hot. Companies such as Jimmyjane make massage candles designed for sex, in erotic scents such as bourbon and ginger and date. These sex-specific candles burn at lower temperatures than most conventional ones and also melt into a luxurious oil that you can use for erotic massage. Since roleplay, especially anything that involves power dynamics, is great BDSM fun, try roleplaying as a massage therapist and client — complete with a happy ending if you so choose.
Good sex can embrace all the senses, not just touch. Scented oil for a massage, music and candles for soft lighting can all be erotic, as well as listening to your partner's breathing and the sounds they make. But remember not to get oil on a latex condom, as this can damage it. Taste each other as you kiss. If you both want to, you could mix food and sex – feed each other something delicious and juicy, such as strawberries. Check out out our lube shop page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.
Are you a submissive who likes being reprimanded? Do you want to be told that you're a bad girl and that you're going to do what daddy wants? Ask your partner to talk dirty to you. Anyone can engage in dirty talk related to BDSM themes, whether you are dominant, submissive, or both (someone who plays both roles is referred to as a switch). Dirty talk allows you to express your desires. Verbal cues also help you visualize hot fantasies. Say you have a fantasy of being restrained but for now just want to hear your partner tell you about how they're going to tie you up and (consensually) use you, or you'd like to see how it feels to call them "sir." Dirty talk lets you explore fantasies before physically trying them.
I covered becoming dominant earlier, but not everyone likes or even gets turned on by the idea of being more dominant over their man. For these people, they just don't find it to be a kinky sex tip worth trying. But what about the polar opposite of being dominant, what about becoming more submissive to your man? This is obviously going to be way hotter if your man enjoys being dominant in bed too! Let's look at a few different strategies that you can use to explore being submissive with your man.
Tell Him – By far the easiest and most direct way to introduce the idea of you being submissive to your man is just to tell him. If you are super direct about it, then it might work well or…it might catch him off guard and freak him out.
A better way to tell him is just to start talking only to bring up how much you enjoy seeing and feeling him be 'manly' & dominant. The next time you are finished having sex, tell him something like this:
- That was so hot how you just pounded me harder & harder. I felt completely helpless; it was incredible.
- I love how you throw me around when we're in bed together. It really turns me on.
- I feel like the more aggressive and dominant you get, the more submissive I become.
- Complimenting your man is the perfect way to boost his ego and is a kinky sex tip on its own. The more your reinforce how awesome it is and how much you love it when he is dominant with you, the more he is likely to continue doing it.
- Even if he's not particularly dominant with you right now, let him know how kinky you find anything that he does that is even slightly dominant. It doesn't work, and then there are other ways to approach it.
Just Do It – Rather than waiting for your man to be more dominant, a quicker strategy is to take the bull by the horns and just go for it. You can start acting submissive to your man sexually without him prompting it. So what kinds of things can you do to be more submissive to him?
Don't Even Ask – The next time you are both getting ready for bed, just drop to your knees as he is changing out of his clothes and start giving him a blowjob. Don't worry, and he won't be upset!
The Unprompted Hand Job – When you and your man are just lying in bed together, slowly slide your hand down his stomach, grab his penis and start giving him a handjob. Bonus kinky, submissive points for giving him puppy eyes as you are doing it.
There are apparently nine areas that turn a man on in the bedroom.Some of them are obvious - if you're not touching those areas you're definitely doing it wrong - but some of them may surprise you.
The mouth is a very important erogenous zone.
Kissing boosts levels of dopamine in the brain, a neurotransmitter that boosts desire and the reward system in the brain.
Try tracing his lips slowly with your tongue, or softly bite his lower lip, sexologist Carol Queen suggests.
And of course, don't forget full-on making out can be just as fun.
If you've ever had someone play with your ears and liked it, then it makes sense your man would like it too.
In fact, in survey ears came in just behind the scrotum for places that can help men climax.
Try gently nibbling or licking his ear.
Or try whispering something sexy to spice things up.
The skin of the scrotum is quite sensitive and can really turn a man on when touched.
You should definitely keep biting and nibbling at bay here though.
Instead try sucking, licking, cupping or gently squeezing them, sex coach Charlie Glickman suggests.
"Start with your hand around both balls, then bring your fingertips together over them – like you're picking up a napkin off the floor," another expert said.
Who doesn't like their neck being kissed?
Think about the tingles it sends through your body - it does the same for him.
And the nape of his neck in the best place to focus, according to a study published in the journal Ergonomics.
You should kiss him there with your mouth slightly open while humming.
"The combination of heat and vibrations will help prompt some serious sensations for him," sex expert Emily Morse explained.
Or try using a vibrator to massage his hairline
By now you've probably worked out that what works for you can also work for him.
In a recent survey for the journal Cortex, men admitted that nipples were one of their top spots for stimulation.
Carol suggests gently sucking or licking a nipple while touching your man down there for extra pleasure.
You're probably already focusing on the penis to get him in the mood.
But how you touch it can make all the difference.
According to a survey published in the BMJ men rate having the top of their shaft touched.
And when it comes to how much pressure to give your grip - sexperts suggest it needs to be fairly firm.
That's because the erectile tissue sits fairly deep beneath the skin, so a good amount of pressure is needed.
The tip of the penis, called the glans, has a lot of nerves - more than the shaft, in fact.
It's the closest thing to a clitoris a man has.
So whether you are using your hands or engaging in oral sex, be sure to focus some attention here.
Men have a G-spot too - it's the prostate gland located about a finger's length inside the bum.
Not every man will want you to stimulate it though, so check with your partner before you stick anything anywhere.
But if they are up for it, it can be quite an experience for them.
Whether it's sweet nothings or your sexy intentions, whispering things to each other can add an extra thrill. It doesn't have to be during foreplay or sex. Foreplay can start during the day with a sexy phone call or text – this could leave both of you looking forward to the event for hours or days.
This works with texts and emails, too – but make sure you send them to the right person and remember that your employer has the right to access your work email.
Adding sensory deprivation to your sex life is an easy and tantalizing way to build tension. When you temporarily subtract stimuli from one sense, you can heighten others: For instance, when you can't see because you're wearing a blindfold, a whisper in your ear or the taste of your partner's mouth may seem all the more intense — and exciting.
If you want to buy a blindfold, start with a comfy silk one such as this $8 satin mask from Babeland. You can also use a sleeping mask or the silk tie of a bathrobe. Depending on what role you want to play, ask your partner to blindfold you or ask if you can blindfold them. Once the blindfold is on, the partner not wearing it can tease and tantalize the wearer, leaving them guessing what's coming next by kissing all over their body, whispering dirty talk into their ear, or tickling erogenous zones with a feather.
Explore orgasm control.
Orgasm control, especially when done to a person with a penis, is usually referred to as "edging." This involves bringing someone nearly to orgasm and then abruptly stopping the stimulation, then repeating as desired. If you're new to orgasm control, you probably already know that delayed gratification can make the end reward that much sweeter. You don't have to have any sort of rigid edging routine to explore orgasm control: If you're the submissive partner, simply relax and give your dominant partner permission to take your orgasm into their hands. Have them use their mouth or a sex toy to bring you close to climax, stopping right beforehand. When you can't wait any longer, let them help you cross the finish line and prepare for the most intense orgasm you've had in a while.
Masturbation, by yourself or with your partner, can be a bonus for your sex life. Exploring your own body and sexual responses means you can share this knowledge with your partner. Masturbating your partner can help you learn more about what turns them on. It can also be an option if one of you doesn't feel like full sex. Talk about this with your partner.
If you and your partner both feel comfortable, using sex toys can be an arousing thing to do together. Some people use vibrators (and more) as an enjoyable part of their sex life. If you've never thought about using sex toys before, how do you feel about trying them?
You can buy them online or in sex shops. You don't have to spend a fortune on toys – you can get creative. Soft hair brushes can feel great against the skin, and making your own games up can be fun.
Restraint is the crux of many BDSM scenes. After you and your partner discuss what activities are on the table when one of you is tied up (perhaps that's spanking, nipple biting, and oral sex are) and what's off-limits (maybe you're not too keen on spitting or face slapping), the tying can begin. There are many great books out there to teach you some basic knot-tying skills, such as The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori, but you don't have to get fancy; just make sure the knot or tie is something you can undo when you're ready. You can buy some specialty bondage rope or even use a scarf or a bathrobe tie. Pro tip: Lay whatever material you're using flat against the skin so that it doesn't bunch up and threaten to cut off circulation. If you use rope, keep some safety shears around so that if one of your knots becomes stuck, you can simply cut through the rope.
Handcuffs are another common restraint tool, and they tend to be quite user-friendly. While ropes are highly versatile, you don't worry about your typing skills with handcuffs. Since you can also use cuffs to ensure the submissive partner is unable to touch
themselves, they're handy for experimenting with orgasm denial. Start with some comfy Velcro cuffs, or if you want a realistic-looking pair, try these metal handcuffs from the Fifty Shades of Grey line on for size.
Introducing sex toys is a kinky sex tip that you absolutely must try. Of course, some say that it's cheating or that it's not fair, but the truth is that it's not. It's just another fabulous way to keep things hot and fun. The only time an issue will arise is if your man thinks that you NEED sex toys to get off. It can be a big blow to his ego if he THINKS that he can't get you off. So if you suspect that he is someone who may be a bit insecure about you using a sex toy, make sure to explain the situation to him.
Choosing the right sex toy can be somewhat of a minefield. There are literally thousands of different toys that you can choose from. There are different kinds of vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, prostate massagers and more. The reason being…different people have different preferences when it comes to this thing. Some people love certain toys, while others don't get any pleasure from them.
So rather than letting me suggest what you should try, my advice is to take a look at yourself and decide for yourself what you want to try and use. Of course, the most popular sex toy for women is the vibrator, so if you need to advise on how to get the most out of it.
Roleplaying With Your Man
If becoming more dominant over your man in the bedroom is a kinky sex tip that doesn't really do it for you, then another excellent way to make things kinkier is to try some roleplaying with him. Just like with being dominant over your man, you don't necessarily need to take roleplaying to its limit, and it can be just as much fun when you experiment with it.
Two main themes permeate roleplaying with your man. One theme is that one of you has all the power, while the other is bold or naughty or needs to be punished or is generally in a submissive role. Roleplays that involve this include:
- Correctional officer & prisoner
- Headmaster & naughty school girl/boy
- Cop & Criminal
- Nurse/Doctor & sick patient
- Sports coach & athlete
- The Boss & Secretary
Others include an element of you you being sexy, sultry and irresistible. These are roleplaying where your man is in a position where he is irresistibly drawn to you. Kinky roleplays that involve this include:
- The bored housewife/girlfriend & the plumber/milkman
- Stripper & customer
- Escort & client
- Model & photographer
The Lolita roleplay where you are an irresistible younger woman and your man 'has to have you'.
However, these aren't the only themes that you should think about when roleplaying with your man. There is literally a never-ending stream of roleplays that you can try out with your man. The only limit to what roleplays you do try is your imagination and fantasies.
A FEW NOTES ON ROLEPLAYING
- Remember that the idea of roleplaying is creating a fun & safe environment where you can act out your fantasies and kinks with your partner. With that in mind, you should never do anything your partner is not comfortable with it, even if it's a kinky sex tip that you really want to try. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if your partner is or isn't enjoying something, especially when you are experimenting. This is exactly why you should use a safe word.
A safeword is a word or phrase that you wouldn't normally use during sex with your man to indicate that you want him to stop what he's doing. Here are a few examples, "Angry Birds", "Walmart" or "iPhone".
- Getting in the mood to roleplay with your man can sometimes be tricky. You may really want to try something, but you may be nervous or feeling a little awkward about it. A straightforward way to get over these awkward feelings is to have a glass of wine (no more, you don't want to be drunk!).
- Just because your man suggests a roleplay to try out doesn't mean you have to do it. At the very least hear him out, then let him know that you aren't interested right now. If it happens to sound totally ridiculous, don't laugh or belittle him for it.
Role-playing can help you get into a kinky mood as you take on the personas of people with power dynamics you want to explore, such as a boss and secretary or student and professor. Dressing up is a creative, liberating way to explore hidden desires, so if you're turned on by being dominant or submissive with your partner but feel a little nervous, the right outfit could help.
It can be as simple as something you already have at home, such as a tie or a plaid skirt, but sites like Lovehoney offer a dazzling range of affordable costume options. Do you want to be the patient who asks the hot doctor to examine them and test their orgasm? Have your partner throw on a stethoscope. Are you turned on by cheerleader roleplay? Put your hair in pigtails and lean into the fantasy. Costumes help us step into the dominant or submissive roles we want to act out in bed. Even if you throw on an outfit and end up having vanilla sex, who doesn't love an excuse to play dress-up as an adult?
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